This summer I spent a lot of time around people who have no
interest in believing the way of the God I so love. They think he’s ridiculous. This summer brought one truth to striking clarity
in my life; I am not better than them.
(The stunning view from my house this summer.)
For the past three years I have been going to a Southern
Baptist university, and have seen Christian community lived out. I have been
surrounded by believers, and those who claim to be. Lot of wholesome living,
and the appearance of wholesome living. We have separate dorms for guys and
girls, and you cannot be in each other’s rooms except for a few hours once a
week. The door must stay open, and you are checked in on. We are required to
get Community Life and Worship credits, which can be attained by going to
Chapel, ministering, or volunteering in a Christian organization. The majority
of my classmates go to church, every Sunday. When school is let out every
summer many of us, go to Christian camp all summer long, or mission trips, or
Church ministry jobs where we are once again surrounded by lots of Christians.
(All my dorm sisters getting ready to "Trash the Campus." Homecoming traditions)
This summer I went back home and worked with unbelievers, I traveled with agnostics, I had fun with non-Christians, I “did life,” with lost sinners. You know what I found? That for Christians our primary argument is not for a better lifestyle, or a better self. When we start to point to the superiority of our lifestyle or of who we are, we will fail.
Like I said, my time at SBU has shown me how beautiful a
Christian community can truly be. It has also showed me how flawed it is. We
still gossip, we still fight, we still do not recycle, we still go on Netflix
binges, we still sneak out at night to be with the opposite sex, we still read
and listen and look at things we should not, we still fear, we still doubt
God’s existence sometimes, we still hate ourselves. We are not perfect, and we
never will be on this earth.
So if we are all just a lot of ungodly what can we possibly
point to? What is the difference between this way and theirs?
JESUS
We have got to get back to an obsession with Christ. Christ
must be preeminent, because he truly is the only one that every lived a
superior lifestyle worth pointing to. This
is who they must reckon with. This is who they must decide about. They can
dismiss my life, and who I am, but they must deal with who Christ is. He is
perfect. He has never failed and never will.
I will never forget this night. One of my good friends, who
does not believe in Jesus is sitting with me. We are talking about the past. In
a moment of possibly, unwise vulnerability, I tell them about some of my sinful
past. They ask, “Is God okay with that?” The next words burn when they come out,
“No! Of course he’s not.” It seemed that I had just destroyed any sort of
façade of goodness that I thought would help this friend believe in Jesus. I
had just revealed how bad I really am. I thought, “How will they ever believe
now? I am just like them!”
This is an unbelievably arrogant line of thought. I was relying in my story, my life, and my
walk to be my witness when Christ was always the only one I could point to. I
can never go wrong in giving him the glory.
Yes there are differences in those who truly follow Christ. They
are many, but it’s mainly repentance. I am turning from that lifestyle that I
fell into, while non-believers pursue it. This is a striking difference, and it
should cause our lives to point to Christ! Absolutely our lives and our
lifestyles must. However, I have noticed that we have taken this and created a
pressure that we cannot withstand, so we lie. We pretend to our families and
friends that we have it all tightly wrapped up and secure, so that they will
believe in Christ. THIS IS NOT THE WAY! This has never, ever, ever been the
way. We must own our mistakes when appropriate, and point to Christ. Our
lifestyles will not save, only Jesus can. Even if we do have goodness, we still must point to Christ, because that is exactly who it comes from!
That is what I learned this summer. My obsession and
addiction to Christ must be evident in my daily walk. If I should make it 60
years on this earth, I know I will still have problems and personality issues.
I will still be flawed. No matter how long I work at this, I will never be
completely sin free on this Earth. I just have to turn the conversation to Christ
as quickly as possible, and walk with him as much as I possibly can in hopes
that my life will be blameless before all.
To those who have experienced my sin. To those I have
wronged, I am so sorry. To those who do not believe because of the way I
sometimes live, I cannot apologize in a fashion that would communicate the
depths of my sorrow. I am messed up. However, there is a man named Jesus who
choose to give me grace. I am not better than you, I am just a recipient of
Grace. I walk in this grace every day, and that is what I hope you see.
Much Love,
Sarah Jean
"Thu says the Lord: Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight declares the Lord." Jeremiah 9:23-24
"For by grace you have been saved thought faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that on one may boast." - Ephesians 2:9
"Walk as children of the light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true. And try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take NO part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them." - Ephesians 5:9b-10
No comments:
Post a Comment