Introducing Myself to Two Atheists

My hands were shaking so violently, they could not hold the pen with which I was trying to write. My stomach was tied in knots. I had no idea what I was going to say. All I knew was that I was about to violate at least ten social laws and ask two atheists enjoying their afternoon lunch if I, a determined Christian, could talk to them about religion.

I'll admit this is one of longer posts, but no matter who you are or what you believe there is some great content.

When I need high-speed internet, scrumptious food, and comfy booths I usually chose Panera Bread (St. Louis Bread Co). This day was the usual, I got some unsweetened tea and tucked myself away in the very back of the restaurant. My hair was in a ghastly condition, my sense of fashion questionable, and my countenance focused. This extrovert had no intention of doing anything besides checking items off a to-do list.

Enter the God of divine appointments.

I had ordered my textbooks, read my new book, looked at endless pointless things on Facebook, and uploaded a bunch of pictures. I did all of this while overhearing the conversation of two men who sat across from me. I was not trying to eavesdrop, but their conversation had some interesting points. I heard one, who I would later learn was Jacob, tell Mark about how hard it was finding like-minded people in the Bible Belt. They were discussing their atheism. I was interested, nothing else. Their topics moved on to the subject of Fantasy Football, and I could care less.

I decided that today I would pull out a Bible that had been collecting dust in the back of my car this week. I will be honest with you, breaks are where my devotion suffers from the lack of routine that usually makes it prosper. Yes Jesus and I are aware this is a pretty sissy excuse. As I earnestly took notes on the book of Galatians, a great urgency that I characterize as the moving of the Holy Spirit, pushed the idea that I should talk to them.

"Nope. That's just plain weird."

I went back to my reading, not being able to focus at all. As I got up to get some more tea, I was wrestling with my self, or perhaps this was the Spirit.

"No I need to read my Bible. Reading the Bible is a good thing." 

Do you want to hide behind your Bible, or actually live out what it's talking about? 

"Yes, but I do not know what to say." 

Just take a chance. 

So I sent a text to a close group of friends asking them to pray, and stumbled over to the two men with no clear idea on what I would say. Yes me, one who claims to have social prowess, opened with this.

"Hey guys, I write a blog about culture and religion and was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit?"

Here is the thing. I do not write a blog specifically about  religion and culture, but that sure does sound good. I did not mean to shade the truth, but that is what I said. I guess shopping counts as culture? They were tentative, but allowed me to join them.So there I sat with my dorky legal pad and a pen that I could not actually write with.

Here is where you need some insight into my life. I went through extensive evangelism training, at my childhood, ultra traditional Southern Baptist Church. I was taught a packaged spiel that I could regurgitate at a moments notice if someone needed a witnessin' to. That well polished rhetoric went something like this.

"Have you ever told a lie? Yes you have. Well that makes you a sinner, and God does not let sinners into heaven. You need a savior, and that savior is Jesus."

 I watched videos of these street preachers converting people at rapid rates with this canned speech. I am super grateful for these men and the ministry that taught me the importance of using God's standard to show unbelievers that they are in need of a Savior. I do not mean to discredit them, it just turns out that I am rarely ever in a position where this type of witnessing works or is appropriate, and in fact I do not really see it in the scripture.

Christ, Paul, Peter, Steven, and John were all pretty unique every time they presented the Gospel. The Gospel is the Gospel, but they way we say it means everything. Jesus knew the hearts of man so he could do crazy awesome things like calling out the Woman at the Well straight up. The problem is, we do not know hearts, life history, tendencies, or emotions unless we have knowledge of it, because we are not God. The Spirit of God can show you this without ever asking, but I am just not usually spiritual enough to be in tune to His voice. I am a sissy when it comes to following the Spirit. I just fail, often. 
If I had walked up to these fellows assuming they were carbon copies of all humanity and dished out my super-slick lines about Jesus, they probably would have politely listened. However, I would have never learned a thing about them and they would find Christians all the more annoying and base. Also, if this walk is actually about Love like Jesus said it was, what on Earth or Heaven is loving about treating every single person like they need exactly the same delivery of the Gospel? Why not try to serve their needs? How will I know their needs if I do not ask? I am not saying that we should add to the scripture, I just think we need to know enough scripture and what it actually means to allow people to hear what they need when they need it.

I have also learned about the necessity of trust in delivering Truth. John Lynch of Truefaced Ministries spoke about this when he came to our college, saying that it is so important that those who you are trying to speak truth trust you. They will never receive the truth if they do not trust you. This goes for speaking about anything. If I get up to speak about dressing professionally but am disheveled, I have no credibility or trust. 

Finally, I have come to believe that witnessing is about Jesus, so I am to point them to Christ not try to win the "battle."  I used to talk to unbelievers about Jesus and walk away thinking, "Haha I told those suckers how it is." That mindset is abusive to the meaning of the Gospel. With that mindset, you create enemies not brothers and sisters in Christ.

So with these mind-altering lessons I have learned over the years, I entered this conversation. I just wanted to learn from them. They are image bearers and deserve to be heard. I am in no way better than them, and as I would learn they were far superior to me in raw intellect. Their names were Jacob and Mark. That's right, three Biblical characters: Sarah, Mark, and Jacob discussing why God probably doesn't exist. The irony did not go unnoticed by me.

They had both grown up in the church, and Mark was a pastor's son. They had both been active in the church, Mark telling me that he would have been like me approaching people in restaurants. They were both very reasonable, and were not angry about their disbelief in God. The conversation was the pinnacle of rationality it seemed. Forgive me for not remembering their exact majors, but it was some sort of Math Science. They knew their stuff, and frequently went above my head. However, they would stop and explain some of the more difficult concepts.

Mark had read the entire Bible and just found too much wrong in it for him to continue to believe. His greatest hang up was in the book of 1 Corinthians. He found Paul's writing to be contradictory. I had never heard this to be a major reason for atheism before. He also was bothered by the fact that only certain parts of the Gospel are preached on. We have a tendency to avoid the tough passages, and highlight the easy-to-use, feel good passages. He spoke about Matt 10:34 when Jesus said he came to bring a sword not peace. This is a confusing passage, that many would rather not address. I am privileged to have been raised in a church that did explain this, and the meaning is incredible and beneficial to our understanding of Jesus. I knew the interpretation, but I did not want to interject. I was not lead to. This is a huge change for me. They brought forth more objections. I did not defend the Ark. I did not defend the age of the Earth. I just listened, because all of these arguments were just symptoms of an underlying issue. This was hard for me, but I knew that a proper apologetic argument was not what these guys needed me to say. Thank you Spirit.

I just kept asking them questions. I asked them about what they thought about morality.

"So with no God, how to we shape society. Are there rules? Are there no rules?"

 There answer was that absolute truth does not exist, but that it is not a crisis.

"There are general principles. I mean obviously we should not murder. We can all agree on that."

I agreed with him. In fact, so does the Bible:

They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them. Romans 2:15 

 However, I did not say that. Mark even suggested that he knew where I was going with my line of questions. However, I was not a lawyer. I had no startegic set of questions that would somehow guide them to salvation. I was waiting for God to open up a place for me to proclaim his goodness. As I listened, I will not lie, I even started to waiver a bit.

"Lord, I do not have all the answers to these questions. I'm scared."

Then I thought of Jesus. The way he treated the disparaged. I remembered and was at peace.

"I love you Jesus." 

I also asked them if when they were going through this time of questioning their faith, if anyone has been around to give them an answer or if people had pushed them away. Mark said that he had been pushed away, and Jacob said that there had been answers but not good enough. It seemed that people feared their doubt instead of walking with them through it. Then my window opened.

Mark asked what I though about 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 where Paul addresses the women and tells them to be quiet. I explained that I had wrestled with this very passage and had come out on the other side with an understanding that I found lined up with the God I had come to know. From there I spoke of how it truly seems that at the crux of each philosophy/religion there is a set of beliefs that one must believe in faith, in order for the rest of it to all work out. For them, these axioms were mathematical. For me, they are scriptural. Both require faith. Both can be proven by the successful work they produce later, and both will be fully understood at a later date.

I will lay my rest in a perfect God who loves a imperfect humanity. A God who's finger prints are painted all across His universe. A God who's Word is proved over and over again when one truly digs into it. A God who created the very beings who rail against him in the name of doubt, and loves them all the same. A God who is willing  and able to save the most intellectual atheists (Ehem C.S. Lewis).

I also was able to tell these guys the powerful testimony of William Wilberforce, and to tell them my own testimony of struggling with the faith. That I had doubted, but that God's word had proved himself when I truly searched it.
 
These guys knew the truth. In many ways, Mark knew the Bible better than I did. I did not feel led to tell them they need to repent and to quote scripture left and right. Honestly, time did not even permit this. They excused themselves soon after I said the aforementioned items. They left, and I might not ever see them again. However, I learned so much from them and I brought glory to the Jesus who has saved me. I was obedient to His prompting and did my best to love them. I just have to let God be the one who saves. Who knows what effect I had. Perhaps, we will never know.

Or perhaps, God will let me see Jacob and Mark one day when we dance around his throne hurling praises into the air at the top of our lungs.

Learning to love.

Much Love,
Sarah Jean

p.s. New Years blog post tomorrow!